Is the shell about to crack on Australia’s first official Chickenhawk?
Rightwingers say the darndest things - - Posted on May, 2 at 10:26 am by Tim
As you know, the Australian blogosphere is all a-twitter wondering who will be the first Australian rightwing blogger to adopt the treasured logo of the Fighting 101st Keyboardists, that group of proud keyboard warriors who take the Chickenhawk as their mascot.
But hark, a secret message has been relayed to me via the comment’s thread below. It’s from General Blair and I think he’s testing the waters about whether to come out of his shell and join up. Part of the strategy seems to be to enlist me as a fellow Chickenhawk (please always remember to capitalise the ‘C’ in Chickenhawk). Tim explains his obviously well-considered opinion in some detail. Please pay attention as he’s given this a lot of thought:
Allow me to expand: you supported the war in Afghanistan. I suspect you may also have supported Australian military involvement in the liberation of East Timor. If so, you have been right beside me in the chickenhawk trenches during two of Australia’s last three major military engagements.
(I’m assuming here a definition of chickenhawkism as supporting a war in which one is not a combatant. Perhaps your definition only applies to conflicts with which you do not agree, in which case opponents of the war against the Taliban — John Pilger, Peter FitzSimons, Margo Kingston, among others — would be justified in describing YOU as a chickenhawk.)
You’re no extreme pacifist. You have no absolute opposition to war; our difference over Iraq is purely tactical. You thought it best to pursue terrorists solely in Afghanistan. I agreed with the idea that Saddam Hussein should be ousted. We can (and will) argue about the virtues or otherwise of that for years, but nothing changes the fact that you’ve previously held my current position: supporting a war in which you aren’t on the front lines.
Taken to its logical extreme, anyone who supports a standing military force without joining it is a chickenhawk. Your argument, such as it is, is rendered all the more absurd by your line (directed against chickenhawks) about Osama bin Laden being typed to death. You were/are in favour of military action against him; yet what have you done except write about it?
Seems you’ve long been one of the chickenhawks you now rail against.
Railing against? Moi? But I’m the only one taking this seriously and imploring all the Australian brothers-in-palms to sign up. I’m the one leading the recruitment drive. I would love to see the logo emblazoned all over Australia’s Chickeniest blogs.
But let’s discuss this seriously, because this is a serious business, as Tim is trying to explain in the earnest, above-quoted comment. (Boy at the back! Stop sniggering.) So, I herewith take the opportunity to call the first official meeting of the Australian contingent of the loyal order of Chickenhawks. It’s about time we discussed this beak to beak. I propose all interested parties meet at the Red Rooster Restuarant at the corner of Middleborough & Springfield Rd, Box Hill North in Melbourne at lunchtime. Because we eat chickens for lunch!
I have provided this picture of me in what I propose as a uniform for all members of the Fighting 101st so that you will be able to recognise me. In fact, I propose that it should be compulsory for all members of the Fighting 101st Keyboard Commandos to wear such a uniform whenever they are blogging.
This is a war, as the originator of the plan at Captain’s Table has pointed out, and soldiers should always be properly attired when they enter the battle.
But in the meantime, it’s time for others to step up. Who will be the first rightwing Oz blogger to officially sign up? Will it be Tim? Will it be his trusty intern, Becky? Who will be the first Chickenhawk to peck his way out of the shell of reticience, walk bravely amongst us and cluck freedom?
Posted in Rightwingers say the darndest things |
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:45 am
Will there be expensive wine?
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:27 am
No, but there will be schnitzel.
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:28 am
I say let Tim embrace the chicken! I’m sure he won’t end up the subject of ridicule and scorn. I wonder if he’s getting any pressure from Michelle “unhinged” Malkin - “Join us, Tim, join us.”
May 2nd, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Is the surfie footwear de rigueur?
May 2nd, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Yes. It allows full toe-typing. You never know when you’ll need to type two posts at once.
May 2nd, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Hmm, I have a mind to start supporting the invasion of Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Indonesia, wherever, if it gives me the right to lean on a keyboard while sporting that spiffy chickenhawk uniform… Furresh!
May 2nd, 2006 at 2:30 pm
Will there be expensive wine?
No, but there’ll be a lot of cheap whining.
May 2nd, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Is that outfit Dress Yellow?
May 2nd, 2006 at 4:01 pm
I’ve got a pair of those, er chicken feet. I was wondering why I got all aggresive and irrational whenever I wore them. Now I know.
May 2nd, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Maybe he’d go for it if the logo was a plastic chickenhawk?
May 2nd, 2006 at 6:14 pm
Just to clarify the meaning of ‘chickenhawk’, here’s a definition from snopes.com
‘the term “chickenhawk,” defined (by The New Hampshire Gazette, which maintains a Chickenhawk Database) as “a term often applied to public persons who tend to advocate, or are fervent supporters of those who advocate, military solutions to political problems, and who have personally declined to take advantage of a significant opportunity to serve in uniform during wartime.”‘
I’m guessing being a member of the 101st doesn’t really count as ’serving in uniform’, regardless of whether or not you blog while wearing a chicken suit ??
May 2nd, 2006 at 6:15 pm
plastic………..he goes ape shit when you mention “plastic”
May 2nd, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Thanks for the link, Tim; I needed the eight hits.
Do you reckon you’ll be able to provoke Blair into posting a response at his bolg, thereby generating some much needed Surfdom traffic?
May 2nd, 2006 at 8:38 pm
On the other hand, maybe Blair will post at his blog.
May 2nd, 2006 at 9:14 pm
Fecking, pecking Chickenhawks, pshaw! Who’d fear them? Playing featherduster catch-up yet again. It’s the Chickencow lynch mob what strikes fear in chickenhearted lefties everywhere.
“The Chicken Cow”
This beast comes out
when it is 25 degrees below zero
It can rip your head off
It can fly as high as a bird
It can bite your face
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
This beast killed as many as 100,000 people
Its wings can flap like a bird
It can break a glass
It can also stab you in the ass
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
This beast attacked my brother
It stabbed him in the ass while he was in the cold
His hands were frostbitten
His hands were also numb
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
Blockbuster Video, wow, what a difference!
©Wesley Willis.
May 2nd, 2006 at 9:41 pm
Put the wonderous logo up, Becky, and you will be flooded with hits! The great Chicken Collective will descend upon you like, well, hungry Chickens upon a bucket of grain. Go on - do it. Lead the way! You’re fighting the good fight; this is your reward. You deserve it! Your country needs you! Be the Chickenhawk you know you want to be.
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Memo to: Private (formerly Sergeant) TimD, 101st Keyboardists.
Re: Your phrase “…the Australian contingent of the loyal order of Chickenhawks.”
I once again, and for the last time, bring you attention to the relevant regulation (First Part Standing Orders, Section 4.2.23, sub-para B, point 3.56), which clearly state that the only correct and acceptable form is:
‘The Loyal Order of Chickenhawks’
You are hereby confined to blog barracks for a week for bringing the good name of The Loyal Order of Chickenhawks into public disrepute.
We will not tolerate such sloppiness or dissent. And humour, in any form (including irony, and especially laughing at oneself) have absolutely no place in the modern Chickenhawks.
By Order
His Right Royal
The Grand Clucker
P.S. I do, however, approve of your uniform. Especially the modern knee-breech cut, the subtle coward-yellow and blood-red camouflage scheme, and of course the high-tech, ultra-protective, battle-ready footwear. You may yet redeem yourself.
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:41 pm
Can we have another one for the “First Traitors for Civilisation” brigade?
I’d like one of those. Since part of the definition of chickenhawkery is calling everyone else a traitor.
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:49 pm
Colonel Blair’s response to Tim D is massively disingenuous, to an extent that would make Alexander Downer bow in deference. He seeks to enlist Tim D in the chickenhwak squadron on the basis that their disagreement over Iraq is purely “tactical”. He and his feathered chums have the same tactical difference of opinion with a great many war opponents. If only the debate had taken place on this civilised and rarefied level.
Instead, as we know, the chickenhawk’s purely tactical disagreement tends to result in them questioning their opponents’ IQ, moral character and/or possession of vertebrae. As such, I would like to refine the definition of chickenhawk: someone who not only advocates military action in which they do not take part, but also assumes a position of sanctimonious moral superiority over those who doubt the wisdom of such action.
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:07 pm
“propose all interested parties meet at the Red Rooster Restuarant at the corner of Middleborough & Springfield Rd, Box Hill North in Melbourne at lunchtime. ”
I am confused Tim, I thought you were a South Aussie now. So, if I am right about your current ethnicity I would look forward to a gathering of Chickenhawks and Chickenhawk haters, say at the Red Rooster on the Parade rather than Box Hill North. It would certainly surprise the Red Rooster.
I have had a unique chicken sort of moment, thanks to Rod Quantock, at of all venues, the Naval and Military Club. Not sure whether it was plastic or rubber. I would be more than pleased to share it with other chicken loving sort of people.
On the other hand The Colonist is just across the road from the Red Rooster. They do schnitzel and wine.